Human Weapons for idiots!
by Drake S. Hellion
Summary: Thel 'Vadam decides as a excercise of trust that the former Covenant forces should be trained in human weapons and the humans in covenant, at first it sounds good, but don't all plans? RnR. I own nothing.
1. Chapter 1

**Human weapons training for idiots!**

_With the end of the human-covenant war, the Arbiter has discarded his title and reclaimed the rank of Supreme Commander Thel 'Vadam and now he and Lord Hood have agreed that Unngoy, Sangheili, Kig-Yar should be trained in human weapons and humans trained in covenant weapons._

_Hilarity ensues._

**Chapter one: Proposition.**

Lord Hood stood in the command center of the super MAC gun station Texas, you might be wondering what made this a super MAC station, well, it's because it sports two MAC guns, enough weapons to wage a small war and training facilities for the elite of the human military!

_And one hell of a bank buster… _Lord Hood thought as he remembered the price tag this station cost. _We could have had a few more SPARTANs running around with that kind of money spent._ He sighed and checked his watch for the seventh time that day, then wincing when he saw it was almost time for the planned event.

"Sir! Slipspace ruptures!" an ensign said from his computer station. "We're tracking three CCS class cruisers, the _Exalted Fury_, _Malevolent Intentions _and _Unyielding Faith_!" the ensign recited as he looked up at Hood. "It's him sir…" he said grimly.

Lord Hood sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. He's early, we're not nearly ready. He thought, turning to the command bridge staff. "To your stations! I want to be prepared to meet him head on!"

The command center burst into activity. Commands issued across the station speakers while Lord Hood turned back to the large observation window to watch the three cruisers approach, soon they hailed and were granted passage to board the station.

"I'm going, have my escort wait for me at the airlock." Hood said as he turned and began to leave the command center.

"Sir!" the ensign replied and did his orders.

* * *

**Airlock-Super MAC station Texas.**

Lord Hood arrived, two marines at his side, each were his bodyguards in sorts, one was middle aged man by the name of Gerold Harper, a former ODST from the Human-Covenant war with an impressive record.

The other was Monica Kingsly, relatively young in age, but a hell of a soldier as she proved when she survived two encounters with the flood and then survived the battle on the Ark.

The airlock doors hissed and opened, there in the doorway were three elites, each looking rather impressive and intimidating.

The one on the right was dressed in shining gold armor that bore various symbols across the chest armor, this was a high ranking elite if Hood remembered correctly, they commanded ships, fleets and ground troops en masse.

The one on the right was dressed in white armor, also adorned with symbols, however, this one elite was very recognizable by the two mandibles that were missing from one side of it's mouth.

That must have meant the middle was…_no, it couldn't be. _Lord Hood narrowed his eyes at the middle elite and examined the shining purple armor, there was also a flowing cape draped over it's shoulders and a very decorated headdress.

The elite's stance was tall, confident and wasted no movement as the three advanced on the humans,

It was _him_.

"Well, I'll be damned…" Lord Hood whispered before saying louder. "Greetings ambassador!" he said, holding out a hand to the middle he now knew was the Arbiter.

The Rtas and the golden elite paused and stared at the hand, however the Arbiter took it and gave a firm shake. "Fleet Admiral Terrance Hood, it has been too long."

Hood knew the voice well, it was the Arbiter. "Arbiter, good to see you again." he said.

The Arbiter shook his head. "It is simply Thel 'Vadam now, I have discarded the rank of Arbiter for my old title and name." he said, gesturing to his armor.

"And that would be?" Hood raised a brow, curious as to what rank the Arbiter now held.

"Supreme Commander." Thel replied honestly with pride. "I command the newly created _Fleet of unending honor_, it is a great honor to be aboard your new station and I hope our visit has not caused any inconveniences." the elite said, bowing his head a moment.

Hood shook his head. "No, just the small jump when someone yells slip space rupture." he replied with a wave of his hand. "I read your message and brought it up with the higher ups, they've given their assent, all we have to do is make sure no one dies or loses a limb during this project." he said.

Thel chuckled. "I imagine so, as such I would recommend not allowing the unngoy access to your rockets…or shotguns." he advised. Gods know them little idiots would blow their limbs off while blowing someone else's face off too…that and the thought of an unngoy using a rocket launcher scared Thel in the darkest part of his mind.

"Yes, and I would like to restrict the use of your plasma swords and hammers away from my troops…I don't need any jedi in my ranks." Lord Hood chuckled.

"Jedi?" Thel asked.

"Sorry, human joke, well…lets get started!"

Hood would regret those words in the days to follow.

**

* * *

**

**End of chapter one!**

**Next one will be longer, this was just the opening.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Human weapons for idiots!**

_Vano 'Maktoai is my OC, one of my better ones, so I just couldn't resist making him appear!_**  
**

**Chapter two: Vano 'Maktoai!**

Vano 'Maktoai, a Major-domo within the new Covenant was standing before his team of Unngoy and Kig-yar, his second in command was a Minor-domo by the name of Vter 'Moramai, Vano himself was middle aged and a fairly imposing sangheili at the height of 7'9, his minor-domo was only at 7'4, but still taller then any human could hope to reach.

But that was beside the point, their monstrous size also came with disadvantages.

"By the Gods! I am going to burn the human who came up with such weapons!"

Vano snapped from his thought when Vter yelled in frustration at the human weapon he was holding, a magnum if he remembered correctly. It was almost amusing to see the minor-domo try to grip the weapon properly and fit his finger into the trigger guard as well.

"Be calm brother, shouting will hardly make it bigger." Vano said simply, turning to observe the various human weapons across the table.

"That's what she said!" One of the unngoy snickered.

Vano turned to the unngoy who spoke and stepped towards him, instantly making the creature tremble with fear, in fact Vano was one of the fiercest sangheili you'd ever see angry. "What was that, unngoy?" his voice cold as ice made the unngoy shiver.

The unngoy squeaked and glanced to the others for some form of aid, but they simply distanced themselves from him when Vano was before him. "Uh…well, Excellency! I was…saying…er…" the unngoy shrugged helplessly.

Five minutes later a single black dot could be seen floating away from the Super MAC station.

Back in the weapon room Vano stepped back inside and said. "He is punished, anymore comments?"

His team shook their heads, except Vter was slamming the magnum on the table, it apparently had become stuck to him tightly.

"Good," Vano said with a nod as he approached the table and humming in thought as he observed the weapons, each so different in shape and purpose. Finally reaching out and picking up a Shotgun he pumped it like the humans do and a shell popped into the chamber with a threatening click. "Excellent."

Vano turned to his team. "Arm up! We head to the range!" he barked.

The unngoy waddled over to the table and began to pick their weapons.

_Clang! Bang!_

"By the Gods! Finally!" Vter said as he looked at his now free hand, flexing it and testing for any damage, the magnum sat on the table. "Excellency I have…oh…" Vter stopped as saw Vano tapping his hoof, arms crossed and shaking his head.

Behind him an unngoy twitched on the floor, it's blood pooling from the wound on it's head.

"Forgive me my Excellency…I appear to have wasted ammo…" Vter bowed his head.

Vano groaned, he had lost two unngoy in not ten minutes! Oh well, they had plenty of them anyways. "Vter, grab a weapon and meet us at the range," he said and walked away, the two unngoy and two kig-yar following him.

Vter walked over to the table and flexed his mandibles in thought, then it broke into a sangheili grin. "This looks promising!" he said to himself as he reached for the flame thrower.

* * *

**In the observation room above the group.**

Lord Hood sighed. "He ejected a grunt out the airlock…" he said simply.

Thel nodded. "That he did…Vano is quite…touchy…when it comes to his mate," he stated simply, then watch as the other unngoy was shot by accident.

"You're kidding…" Hood said.

Thel sighed and rubbed the top of his helmet. "I fear not…what a wasted shot."

Hood gave Thel a strange look but didn't comment.

* * *

**At the range.**

Vano observed his team, the two kig-yar armed themselves with pistols, no surprise there.

The two remaining unngoy were more…colorful in their arming.

One was packing two SMGs, apparently fancying the idea of using both at the same time.

The other was holding an Assault Rifle at the ready, aiming down the sights., it was almost comical.

Almost…were it not so frightening for Vano.

"They're heavy!" one unngoy squeaked with the SMGs. "But I feel so powerful!"

Vano knew this was going to be a very long day, so, so very, very day…

Vter stepped into the range lugging a flamethrower at his side, holding it at the ready. "I have my weapon!" he said to Vano.

Oh yes…a long day…

* * *

**End of chapter.**


End file.
